The intergalactic fast-food chain Orion Burger uses the services of an alien meat-supplier named Zlarg, who only cares for money and doesn't have much in a way of conscience. So his next genius plan is to use the inhabitants of the planet Earth, known as "humans", as a raw, protein-rich material for the tasty burgers. However, environmentalist pressure is threatening Orion Burger's pretense that it only uses unintelligent raw materials, forcing Zlarg to abduct pet shop assistant Wilbur Wafflemeier from the sleepy American town of Boonsville and test him for sentience before scouring his planet clean. Zlarg is still brazen enough to rig the tests, so that no creature can pass it, and — like planned — Wilbur fails miserably. In accordance with inter-galactic abduction protocol, he is supposed to be returned to the moment he left and remember nothing, but he gets a helping hand from the alien-rights activist Astra, who has smuggled herself on board the ship and sabotaged the teleporter. Wilbur arrives intact to a time one hour before his abduction with knowledge of what is going to happen, and has a chance to cheat back.